Another late night

love's lost.

love's unfound.

does this make me a sap?  

how does one write so much of something so wonderful and still feel so sad?

I am here.

but

where are you?

feel so far away 

i'm losing my grip

holding on too tight

at what point do you stop living through your memories when they are all you know of happiness?

Do you, ever?

i sneeze and think of you...

you

and your blue shoes

i eat brussel sprouts because they remind me of you...i'm not sure i even like them.

it rains and i am transported to that day, with the puddles and the dry shoes now wet

and

how everything changed for me that day.

i write because it's all i have left to do...

thoughts are a train wreck in my head

gravy train

yum

thanksgiving

football

vikings

1998

heartbreak

damn you Gary Anderson

my first boyfriend

my first kiss

my dad's van

fireworks

of course

more football

more fireworks

M80s

broken finger

angry

apology

goodbye

hello

shoes and closets

goodbye

you are gone

not again

damn babe, that's just bad luck

babies

heartbreak

hard broke

there you have it...i'm certifiable

that was my thought process

i've ended conversations and actually taken the time to think backwards to figure out how i got to where i wound up

who does that?